


Remember?

by SuicidalSkeleton



Series: Ghost's get bloody noses and die. [2]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Comfort, Headcannon names are Panemeri Emeritus and Clay Copia., Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, cardinal is nothing but a little rat.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-09-29 02:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17194964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuicidalSkeleton/pseuds/SuicidalSkeleton
Summary: There's always a backstory.





	1. This Is The Start of Something Great.

**Author's Note:**

> I vented half way through this, but i'm not going to change it. Be aware of the tags and warnings.

A hard shove brought the teenager down, a soft grunt coming from his mouth. Copia looked up and braced himself as a fist collided with his jaw. Looking up at his assaulter, Copia winced upon seeing Thomas, a Catholic boy who helped his brother and friends make his life miserable. The boy pushed himself further into the wall in fear, "Once again, Devil worshiper, since I can't verbally convert you to the Lords words, I'll just beat it into you, yes?" Sucking in a breath, Copia braced himself once more. Despite Thomas's weak look, he kept up for a good hour. Thomas's brother always blamed Copia for the wrongs he did or in their family life. Copia was currently sitting in a playground, moon watching over him as he swung slowly on the swing. Face bruised, bloodied, and damped with tears, Copia let out a disgusting sob. He covered his face as he cried, blocking the moon from his pathetic face. Wiping his face, but tears still falling; Copia looked through wet eyes at the river near the playground. The water had seen many incidents and Copia's worse times. It's seen him being forced into a Baptism by his School, all students were given one. It had seen him drowning himself, but failing. 

With a sigh and one more wipe at his face, the chestnut brown haired boy looked over to the riverside's bank, his eyes catching hold of a figure moving towards land. Copia tensed in fear as he watched the tall figure stop and seem to stare back at him. Surely it couldn't have since it was pitch black now, that the clouds blocked the moon, right? He was answered as the figure moved closer to him, stopping at a good twenty feet from him. "Say, what are you doing sill out here, hm?" It purred out, almost in a teasing manner. Sniffiling and croaking out, Copia responded "W-what time is it..?" The figure seemed to tilt it's head at the question. "It's 2 AM, love. I thought this little towns curfew was at 8 at night, wasn't it?" Copia shook his head and stopped responding. He was scared. The figure stretched and sighed, and started moving closer to Copia. His heart was racing so bad now. At any moment he felt he would faint. The figure was about five feet away when Copia came to his senses. The clouds lifted and finally, Copia was revealed to the moons light and this figure, some light casting on the other. The teenager heard the figures breath hitch upon seeing him. "You're.. Necklace." Oh fuck. He had forgotten about his hanging Gruicifix, "It's a grucifix, isn't it?" He reached into his shirt it seemed and pulled out his own necklace revealing the same type, put in gold.

"You're part of the clergy?" It asked. "N-no.. My father was, a Brother of Sin," That seemed to excite the person "Where is he? I want to meet him!" Copia's heart sunk and tears appeared again, "My father passed away from the plague outbreak." The unknown persons shoulders slumped, their voice softening "I'm sorry about that, friend." Copia's head rose up "Friend?" "Well, yes! Anyone with a Grucifix is a friend of mine, always! Especially if they're cute." It purred, making the chestnut boy blush heavily. They sat in silence for a while before the other spoke up again "Can you tell me your name now?" That caused the shorter to shuffle his feet uncomfortably, taking the hint it said again "Here, i'll go first! I'm Panemeri Emeritus! A pleasure to be in your presence!" Copia giggled at the name "Can I just call you Emeri?" Pan laughed, "Go for it. Okay now you!" Copia swallowed before softly stating his name "I'm Cl-Clay Copia... It is nice to meet you, Emeri." 

The clouds shifted and Clay's heart seemed to stop in awe. A tall teenager, probably near his own age, stood tall and smiling. Midnight hair curved perfectly, grey tux jacket wrapping around him nicely, showing his toned arms. Copia's eyes seemed to linger on the tightness of Emeri's pants. Wouldn't his veins be cut off from those things? "Hey, cutie clay, my eyes are up here, but if you want to stare I can totally give you the V.I.P access." He purred "E-EMERI!" Clay shouted, face burning red. But he did look at Panemeri's eyes. The sweet brown and snow white eyes stared back into his green and white. "You have the same eye as me, now that's a big sign we should've met!" Emeritus said in a laugh. His white face pain with black moved with his face in a enchanting kind of way as he talked and laughed, "Seems so.."

Emeritus ended up sitting on the swing next to Clay, swinging back and forth as they chatted. Copia was right as they were close in age. 15 to 17. He got pouty when Emeri confirmed he was older then him. Emeritus told about his older two brothers, about the clergy and the annoyance of the studies he went through all the time, and explained that he came to the river here to escape his responsibilities. Copia tried not to talk about his life, but did have to explain why he was bruised, which got Emeri mad, he also talked about his own studies. For some reason he even brought up his Autism, just in case he had a episode in front of Emeri. The older explained that his oldest brother, Samerin was it?, almost had the same problem as him and he wasn't bothered by it, giving Clay a sense of relief. As the sun started to peak, Emeri stood up from the swing and held out his hand "I'll walk you home," he suggested. "A-ah, it's fine really... Um, can we do this again tomorrow? If you can't then it's fi-" he twitched awkwardly "It's fine. It's just I never really had a friend t-" "Sure! Same time tomorrow night!" Copia looked up in disbelief, but gave an excited smile, which quickly turned into a shocked face as Emeri kissed his cheek and somehow, he was gone.

They did this for the next few months, and even on Copia's birthday, Emeritus gave him a new Grucifix. They had grown so close over time, but for one week in particular, Clay stopped showing up. Emeri always sat on the swings waiting for him, but he never came. By time the second week arrived, Panemeri started searching around the village for the younger. There was no way in Lucifer's arms this was like him. Copia admitted a long time ago this was his escape way, and that it helped him many times see a reason to wake up. Why would he stop? He started his search on Sunday, and finally found him on Thursday. Emeri grimaced at the worn down, small home. It looked so bad, how could Copia live in this? Wood covered in vines and worn out, certainly this was bothersome in the winter. Sucking in a breath, Pan knocked on the door. What he wasn't expecting was a fatigued, arm broken, and ill Copia. He wasn't even looking at Emeri when he whispered "V-Varin, please just make it qui-quick.." "Sweet mother of Asmodeus, Clay what happened to you?!" Clay looked up as he heard the others voice, hands cupping his cheeks. 

"Panemeri.." He choked out, before breaking into a pain filled sob. He collapsed into the taller's arms, clutching with his good hand on his tux jacket. Emeri looked behind him before gently lifting Clay into his arms and shutting the door. He moved to a room which seemed like the others, room horridly small and cold, but sat down on the small creaking bed. He started to gently rock the sobbing teenager in his arms "shh, amica mea. It's alright." he whispered. Moving one of his hands momentarily, he grabbed the thin sheet on the bed and wrapped it around Copia, trying to warm his cold figure as much as possible. It took a very long time before Copia was able to just silently whimper and cry, sobs dying down. "My love.. What happened? Can you tell me that?" Emeri asked in a soft voice. Clay clutched his jacket harder and let out a broken whimper, "The Catholic boys.. Th-they confronted me on my way to Our Spot a while ago, they beat me but.." He drifted off as he started crying again "Varin su-suggested the idea of anoth-another way of converting me and they-" The Emeritus Son didn't need to hear the rest to understand as Copia broke into his hard sobs again "Did they go all the way?" He said softly but in anger, Copia shook his head. 

Copia had managed to cry himself to sleep in Emeritus' arms, and Emeri was stuck in his own anger bubble. How DARE someone lay a hand on HIS Amica in any way shape or form. He should've dealt with this the first time Clay brought this up. Sighing, Panemeri muttered dark Latin and closed his now glowing eye. When he opened them he sighed in relief and warmth. The Clergy always did give that accepting feeling. It was his own huge room, and there they sat on Emeri's bed. He shuffled around before laying the chestnut brown boy down on his furry covers. Moving to his dresser, he rummaged in the drawers before pulling out a clean pair of undergarments and a soft pajama shirt and pants. Hopefully, Clay wouldn't mind him changing the other. After a hassle, Emeri pulled the covers over Copia's sleeping figure. He smiled and planted a kiss on his head. He was still pissed, but he had to think of how he could help Copia first without getting caught for bringing him here. As if God wanted, a grunt from his doorway caught his heart. Turning to see his second eldest brother still in his Papal robes and make-up. "Brother, step outside for a moment." He said silently, aware of the broken boy in his brothers bed. 

"What the hell are you thinking bringing someone not even enrolled into the Clergy!?" The Second Emeritus half-yelled, eyes burning of anger. "He's my friend, Samael! I'm not just going to let the infection inside of him spread and kill him!" That seemed to tick him off even more, "He is a mortal, Panemeri. He's going to die either way, and you will have to see it. We are immortal." Emeri stifled his shout as he glared at his older brother. Growling, Pan bared his teeth at his brother, who did the same. "That is enough, brothers." Said a much softer and sweeter voice. The two looked to their side and saw their elder brother in his sleeping robes, a calm look on his face. Samerin walked over and placed a hand on their shoulders, instantly calming them with his magic, "Panemeri, please. Explain to us why you have brought him here." So that's what he did. He explained their meeting, visits, and what Clay had told him this night. Samael's face seemed to soften but he still held a glare. Emeri could sense the pity giving off from his eldest brother, "I can sense the infection from out here, which is not good. You were right to bring him here, but you have to be mindful of what the consequences of bringing a Infected Human here is, Panemeri." He softly spoke, rubbing the younger's head. 

A mint and tea smell filled the area the three were standing in, The second eldest muttering a "Calm your emotions, Pan. You're doing it again." With thinking it over, the eldest of the two there gave a nod "He can stay here, I can heal him in the morning but the rest is up to his own body." With a thankful look, the younger hugged his brother "Thank you, thank you." Hell, he even gave his pissed off brother a hug as well. The second rolled his eyes before turning to go to his quarters. As Panemeri moved to return back to his room, Samerin softly spoke "I can sense you're emotions, my dear brother. You should try and get better at hiding them," He teased, ruffling his hair before turning back to his room. As Emeritus the III slid into bed next to Copia in his own pj's, he pulled the smaller closer into his chest with a sad frown. His Copia was hurting and he didn't know how to fix it. Playing with the fluffy hair that belong to the sleeping one, Emeritus started plotting for the next night. 

Sleep didn't last long as a scream woke him up, Copia shaking and sobbing next to him. Panemeri sat up and held him to his chest "Shh, shh, it's alright. I'm here, i'm here my love." Copia started hyperventilating and wasn't listening to his words. "Amica, please." he heart brokenly said as Clay started trying to throw himself out of Emeritus' arms. Finally at a last resort, Emeritus broke his human form. Dark black wings spreading out of his night shirt and around the two. A sweet smell, like how was outside when the brothers were talking arose. Copia wriggling and sobs slowly died down as the scent shifted to a coffee like smell, purposely sending the other to a blissful mood. "E-emeri?" He softly spoke, "I'm here, Clay. What is it?" The other stirred and faced around to nuzzle into his chest. "What are you..?" Emeri only smiled, but soon his Copia was fast asleep once more.

The next morning to say was, hectic. Emeritus was already awake when the other arose, and seeing his scared face hurt his heart. "Panemeri? Wh...Where am I?" Copia asked softly. "You're in the Clergy, my dear. Full offense; you're home is certainly the worse thing iv'e ever seen." He said. "Wait. The, THE Clergy?" Emeri nodded his head. Clay looked like he was about to freak out in excitement and panic, honestly Emeri didn't know if he should be amused or concerned for the other. What drew Copia's attention as he started looking around the giant room was the very much huge sweater and loose pants on him. He slightly looked at the other who was finishing the last touches on his hair, and asked quietly but loud enough for the other to hear "Did you put me in these?" Emeri stopped what he was doing and turned around to face the younger. "Yes, I did. And yes, I seen" He sighed. Standing up from his Vanity, Pan sat down next to Clay on the bed, rubbing his hand over the others cheek. Copia gave a soft whine but buried his cheek into the others hand, frowning as he looked into the older's eyes "I'm sorry, Emeri.." 

"It's heartbreaking for me to see you hurt yourself and cover your body in scars, Copia. I know you wish for this pain to stop but.. You can't stop it in this way. You can't hurt yourself or it's going to make you be in even more pain then you originally were." Emeri moved his hand away, Copia pouting from the loss, and rolled up his sleeve, showing faded scars. "Trust me when I say I know. You're my Amica, and I love you with all eternity, but this isn't good for you." Taking the smaller's hands into his own, Emeri leaned forward and placed a very light kiss on the others lips, "I'll get you the help you need, I promise. You're safe with me." 

If only Emeritus the Third could explain this to his mother. He had brought Copia- well carried, Copia to the Emeritus' brothers own kitchen, only to find Sister Imperator looking at him with two emotions: Confusion and anger. Never a good mix. His eldest brother gave him a apologetic look meaning he had to tell her, while the second just shook his head. She huffed, "Panemeri, your brothers have told me about your guest." Upon seeing him look up at with awe and admiration, her face kind of softened but stood in her expression, "What is your name, my son?" Copia's face reddened and looked down at his hands when Pan put him down. "Cl-Clay Copia, your excellence." Imperator's face seemed to scrunch up like she was about to laugh, and she did. "Oh Lucifer bless your heart, you are just the shyest thing." All of the brothers gave her a confused look, their mother never acted this way. The Head Sister walked over and gently patted Clay's head, "No need to be shy. You just rest yourself back up." When she left the room, Pan could've swore he felt a glare on his back. The oldest brother was the first to start talking, "So, Clay was it?, Why don't you sit with us and tell us about yourself!" Copia's shoulders rose and grabbed Emeri's hand before the younger brother took him to the table.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Panemeri yelled in frustration. The small ghoul giggled, "Earth this is the fifth time you've beaten Me, Copia, AND Alpha!" he scooted closer "What's your secret?" He half-assed whispered. Clay giggled and tugged back at Emeri's dress shirt, who happily moved back to where he was. "I mean, I expected at least Air to beat Earth in Uno, but he ended up rage quitting. Earth you are something else.." Alpha murmured. Earth just chuckled in a evil way before picking up the stack of cards and shuffling. Copia had been living in the Clergy for a while now, and somehow these strange rats have found him. Weirdly, Clay started crying when he saw them. Emeri asked about them, and happily Copia explained how they were his family and protected him from harm, but was also the reason for the black blotches on his skin. Panemeri didn't have a problem with them, neither did the ghouls and they loved playing with the creatures wen they would allow. Sighing, Clay curled into Emeri's side, playing with the ends of his black shirt. It had been a while since he felt love like this, but he wasn't sure if it even was. Copia was questioning himself, one moment he'd find a Sister of Sin really attractive then the next he'd think one of the bigger and stronger ghouls were incredibly hot. But the one person that would always catch his eye, and as cheesy it was, was Panemeri. 

No matter what the Emeritus brother would do, Copia would always catch a soft blush on his face. Breaking his train of thought, Alpha yelled and threw his cards into the air "I quit!!" He got up and stomped away muttering something along the lines of "Stupid draw four.." Earth whined and got up to chase the Fire Ghoul "Allpphhaa!! Wait!" Clay snickered but didn't move as he grew comfortable on the other male. Clay snickered but didn't move as he grew comfortable on the other male. Emeri seemed to notice and pulled Copia into his lap, making the younger's face a deep red. Emeritus chuckled at his face, placing his face in his hands, squishing Copia's cheeks together. "You're so cute, my little rat," He laughed out. They stared at each other for a while before Emeri slowly started closing the space between them. When their lips collided, Copia's eyes were wide while the other's were closed in content. When the brother pulled back, he laughed so hard at Clay's stunned, blushing face. When Clay brushed off the shock he leaned in once more, which Panemeri met. Their lips moving in sync as the kiss lingered on, Emeri's hand in the soft curly brown locks of the other, Clay's hands resting on his lovers arms. Again, they pulled back. Emeri chuckled softly before pressing his forehead against Copias. "Hey Copia?" "Y-yeah?" He smirked "Boyfriends?" Copia squealed but gave a hesitant nod.


	2. Descending Into Madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Small Teaser.

The young teen gasped as he dragged himself on the dirt, blood obvious under his nails from clawing too much. The teen's red eyes filled with more tears as he heard slow footsteps follow him from behind. "You know," a voice began, "The more you struggle, the more they get restless." With added emphases, the sounds of snarling and low growls filled the night air added with the sobs and movement on the Earth. The dark figure sighed as the injured teen continued to crawl away, eventually stepping on his broken foot with a heel, causing the teen to let out a blood curdling scream as pain shot up their spine. A cruel laugh escaped the figure as they stomped harder, moving to stand on their back, humming to the boy’s crying and pleads. He hiccupped, “p-please.. Please just let me go home, I didn’t mean it! He made us! I never wanted to hurt Clay!” The figure stopped picking under their nails and humming, stepping off the boy to crouch in front of him, finger under his chin to make him look up at them. They held eye contact for a bit before the figure leaned close to kiss the boys forehead, “I know sweetie… But you did it, and that’s a no-no,” he began crying harder as they spoke, “Though, you’re lucky I’m very forgiving.” The boy sniffed and looked up again, blinking the tears away as much as he could, “Y-you forgive me?” The figure smiled, a warm look on his face. “Of course I do!” They stood up and hummed as the boy began to thank them repeatedly, and cry tears of relief. “But,” he stopped, “They don’t.” the boy’s head turned around to be met with five demonic beings, teeth bared and claws clicking together as they stared death inside him. The teen began to shake in fear as he noticed drool and blood covering their chins, taking quick notice to the smallest one with green eyes who moved closer, putting both of his legs on both sides of him. “Tsk, you should’ve remembered what I said before this started! I don’t get my hands dirtier than needed. They do that willingly for me! Now, it was a pleasant chat, dear Varin!” The figured snapped Its fingers and screams began to echo. The sound of bones snapping, flesh ripping open, and gurgled screams alongside growls replaced the crickets and frogs of the night. Emeritus sighed and turned away, smiling and skipping away to the nearby lake as the sounds continued.


End file.
